Alice, Housecleaning, and Mexicans
We live in a 1938 house that has a little milk door for the milkman to leave bottles of milk. I'll come back to this later.
The Brady Bunch had Alice to keep their house clean. We have a wonderful housecleaner that comes once a week, for which I am very grateful. But three kids (two under two) means that our floor resembles a cross between a military mess hall under active bombardment and the public city dump - within just a few hours of the floor being spotless. We even have a family joke that if we're cleaning up rice off the floor, it must be Tuesday (our cleaner comes on Tuesday morning).
So we really need to vacuum and mop on a daily basis, which of course, since we have three kids, means we never get to it.
So until we find Alice or win the lottery, we need need an alternative service, and I think I know what it is. It involves Mexico, which is well known for one important parenting tool: tequila.
Each night while we are asleep, a van would show up outside our house. They would come around to the little milk door, open it up, and insert a dozen hungry Mexican hairless dogs. These dogs, specially trained to be virtually silent, and completely allergen and hair free (you know, the "hairless" bit) would scour the floors of our house, licking up any leftover food, milk spills and other edible debris. They would then file quietly back through the milk door and out to the van.
These dogs would be especially healthy, since they would eat a wide variety of foods, but particularly large quantities of foods that our kids reject, like vegetables. And since the food is all organic, they would enjoy a pesticide and chemical free diet.
Really, the quality and quantity and selection of foods we would be providing for these dogs is such that it would really only make sense that we would get paid for providing this healthy eating food service for the dogs.
The Brady Bunch had Alice to keep their house clean. We have a wonderful housecleaner that comes once a week, for which I am very grateful. But three kids (two under two) means that our floor resembles a cross between a military mess hall under active bombardment and the public city dump - within just a few hours of the floor being spotless. We even have a family joke that if we're cleaning up rice off the floor, it must be Tuesday (our cleaner comes on Tuesday morning).
So we really need to vacuum and mop on a daily basis, which of course, since we have three kids, means we never get to it.
So until we find Alice or win the lottery, we need need an alternative service, and I think I know what it is. It involves Mexico, which is well known for one important parenting tool: tequila.
Each night while we are asleep, a van would show up outside our house. They would come around to the little milk door, open it up, and insert a dozen hungry Mexican hairless dogs. These dogs, specially trained to be virtually silent, and completely allergen and hair free (you know, the "hairless" bit) would scour the floors of our house, licking up any leftover food, milk spills and other edible debris. They would then file quietly back through the milk door and out to the van.
These dogs would be especially healthy, since they would eat a wide variety of foods, but particularly large quantities of foods that our kids reject, like vegetables. And since the food is all organic, they would enjoy a pesticide and chemical free diet.
Really, the quality and quantity and selection of foods we would be providing for these dogs is such that it would really only make sense that we would get paid for providing this healthy eating food service for the dogs.